The Why, What, and How of Leveraging an Accountability Partner

We have many Thriveal members who leverage accountability partners to help them stay on track with their growth. It’s a beautiful part of a community when people privately and confidentially trust others to speak into their lives, challenge them, and help them to stay on track with the growth goals they have in their firms and lives.

Why have an accountability partner?

You would seek an accountability partner because you believe you need help to keep your goals moving forward. Inherent in this why is that you believe you may limit or even dismantle what you are trying to achieve if you are left only to yourself. As I’ve grown older, I’m more aware of the places where I can hinder my own desires for growth. Having other people in our lives for accountability creates a stronger future, as other people can challenge us or be someone to lean on when we stray from our own goals. 

What is an accountability partner?

First let’s talk about what an accountability partner is NOT meant to bring you. An accountability partner can not make you do anything. They can’t go and write that blog post for you, or send those 10 emails you need to send every week for sales outreach. So be careful before you judge the relationship as “not working.” Make sure you are still doing all of the work. 

An accountability partner is a person that will check in with you specifically, on a regular committed cadence, offer empathetic support and encouragement, and give objective feedback and a perspective that is outside of your own personal situation. Let’s break these points down before we get to the how of leveraging an accountability partner. 

• Checking in specifically – a check-in from an accountability partner will look like someone asking “How did you do this week?” An accountability partner has the boldness to ask “How did it go?”  If you can, avoid the general questions like “How are you doing?” or “Tell me what’s up?” General questions leave room for the other partner to avoid the things they don’t want to talk about. Instead, the partner will say “How did you do this week when you said you would write two blog posts?” A partner will be specific when they ask questions. 
• On a regular cadence – accountability works well when a rhythm is set and you both agree to follow it. A rhythm is “the same time, same day, on the recurrence” meaning the cadence may be always on Fridays at 10 am, EST, every week. We would suggest weekly, but not everyone can meet that goal. So set the cadence as tight as you can to get the most leverage out of your accountability partner.
• Offer support and encouragement – this is the beauty of accountability. Many may fear an accountability relationship because of their failures. But in firm growth (or any worthy pursuit in life), you will fail. It’s not about making sure you never fail in front of your accountability partner. One job of a partner is to offer support and encourage the other partner to keep going and to not give up. There is no judgment or chastisement in accountability partners because you both are equal in your desires to grow. You never scold but rather ask “Hey me too, it’s okay! How can I encourage you to try again next week?”
• Offer objective feedback and a new perspective – the beauty of an accountability partner is that they can have something you can never have about yourself – objectivity. Objectivity is a beautiful thing and it can give you a perspective that you may not have thought of before. It requires the partner speaking to say “From my view point, here is how I see that situation” and from you it requires “Tell me what you see and I’ll listen to try to gain a new perspective.”

Accountability is all about growth, learning, listening, and leveraging the mind of someone else to make one another better. It’s not about ‘letting the other person down’ or ‘I hope they won’t be mad at me this week.’ There is no place for that in accountability relationships since they are mutual places where both people (or 3 or more people) help each other grow, step by step, day by day. Feel free to include personal-related goals too, to help each other grow (recognizing that you are not meant to provide the services of a counselor, therapist, or to deal with particular issues like substance abuse or other psychological struggles).

How to leverage an Accountability Partner?

Now we’ll share the how of leveraging accountability in your life. Here is a suggested L.B.E.N. Agenda you could use in a 60 minute session held each week:

1. 10 minutes: The L = “Last week recap” – Check in on the specific 2 to 3 things that each partner said they would seek to accomplish from last week’s meeting. Each person gives a specific inventory of what did or did not happen since the last meeting. Avoid generalities and get really granular. And make sure to celebrate the wins!
2. 20 minutes: The B = “Barriers discussion” – Discuss the why behind the struggle to achieve each other’s goals. What barriers did you face, and do they continue week after week? If so, what can you do to eliminate them next week? Ask each other “Here is my problem, how would you tackle this?”
3. 20 minutes: The E = “Empathetic perspectives” – Spend time asking how each other feels about their journey and offering different perspectives from each other’s viewpoint. Show care and understanding for each other on what is working, where they are worried, and what fears they have. Take time to listen and truly seek to understand the other partner’s perspective.
4. 10 minutes: The N = “Next week commitments” – this is a main point of the leverage of an accountability partner. Make commitments at each meeting. This will take courage, but your trust will grow for each other and you will achieve more, week by week! Be specific in your list of next week’s commitments. 

As we end, a few other points:

• Make sure to keep it all confidential. This is not a relationship where you divulge things to other people (employees, spouses, personal partners, friends, etc.). You want your accountability meetings to be a safe place where there is no fear to share things and you get to talk about things in a place that you know will not be shared outside of that private meeting.
• Commit to the time, don’t cancel too often, and don’t let yourselves be interrupted while meeting. Honor one another and the time commitments you’ve made. Leave your office or home if you have to and don’t try to check email while in your accountability meetings.
• You don’t have to follow this agenda. It’s only a help – do what works for you and your partner(s) and use the parts of this guide that help. But also, lean into what works for each other. These meetings are intimate, so that means the agenda you follow needs to match your own personal needs, goals, and preferences. 

We love accountability! It really does move us forward as we navigate the complex, frustrating, exciting, and often confusing path of firm ownership. Thriveal links up accountability partners in our community, so reach out to [email protected] and our Member Care Coordinator will assist you in finding a partner.

What’s next for you? Join our community and share your inspiration with other like-minded firm entrepreneurs.