We live in an age of disruptive innovation. The only way to survive the long game is to disrupt ourselves before we get disrupted – to take risks that will take away what we’ve got and replace it with something better. But we don’t do it because we’re scared, and since evacuating your bowels is embarrassing, we act stupid instead. Read more
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I thought I was being authentic at the New Year’s Eve party, but the next day, my wife told me that I was being a prick. Not in those words. She said something like “you were really on one last night” which I think means “you were being a prick.”
When I say that I was being my authentic self, I don’t mean that I was being my alcoholic self. I had one glass of champagne at midnight, but that was it. Read more
If your goals aren’t visceral – if they’re not authentic – they’re impotent. People with impotent goals are suffering from what doctors call Goal Disfunction (GD). To firm up your goals, you need Goal Viagra: Goalvitra. Read more
Here’s how it works. You pay them a metric butt ton of money, sign ten kiloturds of legal documents, pass an invasive medical prostate exam, and then you get kidnapped. You and the company design the broad parameters of your kidnapping, including a predetermined kidnapping window (usually six weeks long) that begins as soon as you lift the pen from the last legal document.
A couple months ago I was working on a joke about Bitcoin and other virtual currencies. The punchline needed an extremely devalued, exotic currency. So I googled “devalued currency,” and that’s when I found out that dongs are the currency of Vietnam.
Disclaimer: If you Google “Vietnamese Dong,” you will see questionable websites with banners that say things like, “In a Down Market, the Dong Stays Up” and “Dong Talk.” Search results also include various graphic images like the following: Read more