Recent articles from Greg:
I was on a swim team of one sort or another from 1980 to 1990, but I never competed in the breaststroke because the name made me uncomfortable. In 1989 I made it to state as an alternate for the 4-by-100 freestyle relay. Yeah. That’s right. The highlight of my swimming career was warming up at the state […]
I’m pretty much a break dancer. Started in the sixth grade. That kind of thing always stays with you. You know what they say, “You can take the breaker out of the hood, but you can’t take the hood off the wind breaker unless it zips off, but even then it’s kind of a pain in the […]
I’m not afraid of dying. As a matter of fact, I’m tired and I could use the rest. I am afraid of dogs, and I’m afraid of swimming in large natural bodies of water. (Thanks for that one, mom. Jaws was a cinematic masterpiece, but maybe not the best film to show your third grader.) Although I’m not […]
I’m pretty much a sports legend. Last month in Las Vegas, I won the best dressed award at the first annual CPA dodgeball tournament. A lifetime of systematically ridding myself of dignity finally paid off. You’re welcome, ladies.
You aren’t a dumbass like your cousin. Who the hell majors in Romance Literature? There’s no excuse for it. Did your cousin really think it was a good life choice to become an expert in the heroic narrative prose and verse popular in high medieval and early modern Europe? Or did he chose his major because he […]
I suck donk at taxes. I take too long. It’s because I try to clean everything up and tie everything out. What the hell kind of upside-down world is this where other accountants condescend to me because I’m too much of a perfectionist? It’s like fat people turning on you because you like donuts. I thought we […]